What is this life?

Disraeli said: “Life is too short to be little.” [...] often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. … Here we are on this earth, with only a few more decades to live, and we lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worth-while actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.

When I was a young adult I read Dale Carnegie’s How To Stop Worrying And Start Living  the book changed my life and I don’t say this lightly. I have seen how worry can eat at a person’s soul and robbed them of quality of life. QUALITY.

How can any person spend their days consistently worrying about issues which are simply out of their control? If you can change something then do it. Don’t fret about it…bitch about it…sit and do nothing. Go out there and make it better!

Sure there are times we hate our positions in life, even Mr. Carnegie did but it’s what you do with these feelings which attests to your own strength of character.  You have to want the change, be courageous.  Nothing can upset me more than seeing a person full of potential fretting over something that they can either 1.) Change or 2.) Let go.  And even then I realize I should simply let them go but yeah…it can be hard when it’s someone close to you.

Realize that our life is finite and in this time allotted to us we should do our very best to create a fulfilling and meaningful life:

Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendour of achievement.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived makes yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.

Kalidasa

The hypocritical

It’s ironic how you can meet some individuals who profess honor and integrity (especially if they wear the military uniform) yet their actions speaks louder than words.

You know the type–all talk yet when you analyze their actions, what they do actually belies their creditability.

I am not 100% perfect-though strive to be  :) seriously though if you cannot back up your words with what you actually do why even bother letting them out…I cannot stand individuals who say one thing yet do another.  It shows a lack of character.  Integrity is losing its meaning, it’s grasp on allot of today’s individuals has become foreign.

A good book to read is Where Has Integrity Gone?

Their Summary:

Have you ever heard people brag about how they fibbed a little and got the best end of a deal? The storyteller makes himself look like the smart guy and the victim the dummy. One man tells of fibbing to the police officer and getting out of a ticket. Another boasts of collecting a little extra insurance by pointing to prior damage on a vehicle—damage that was not a part of the accident being investigated. Someone relates that he bought a gift for his girlfriend and claimed it as a business expense. Lying and cheating have become common practice for many people. Is this a laughing matter, or does it represent a serious decline in moral standards? Is dishonesty just a clever way to get ahead, or will it lead to a bitter harvest for our society? Schrock clearly addresses this malady from a biblical perspective.

———————————————————-

The moral practices of today’s society is questionable. Actions can be found at work, play–with family.  Lying, deceit becomes the norm.  Whatever can bring about a “quick fix” or some type of self-gratification.  What does this say about us, in general, when it comes to the decline of our moral society? Where are we headed?

Time

We all have our time machines dont we…. ones the take us back.. our memories… and ones that bring us forward…. our dreams

I absolutely love this quote!

Settling for “Mr. Good Enough”

As I was scanning CNN.com as I usually do to catch up on the latest news (and no that’s not my only source) this article regarding the all elusive right fit (when it comes to relationships) caught my eye–and a question is posed…a question which seems to plagued individuals who are in their 30′s and 40′s who seem to either avoid commitment or unable to discover their “soulmate”:

…the question is: Is getting less than everything we want truly settling? And more important, semantics aside: Is getting anything less than everything we want going to make us less happy? The answer is no, and it probably will make you more happy.

I don’t understand why people would be upset over this book.  To me it makes allot of common sense.  Be R.E.A.L.I.S.T.I.C.!!

There are just as many picky men as they are women.  I think the key is to ensure that the core values you are seeking in a partner are not compromised but say for example they don’t meet your exact height requirements or he doesn’t have “the job” you aspire to be married to etc…..I wonder when people go out do they have this mental checklist they tick off while “interviewing” on the first date.

Going on a first date is difficult enough….why can’t people relax and just have a good time and if all goes well, see what can happen.  But don’t mark someone off so readily because they do not meet every single item on that “list.”

Musings…

The desert could not be claimed or owned—it was a piece of cloth carried by winds, never held down by stones, and given a hundred shifting names before Canterbury existed, long before battles and treaties quilted Europe and the East…. All of us, even those with European homes and children in the distance, wished to remove the clothing of our countries. It was a place of faith. We disappeared into landscape.

The English Patient

Jane Austen

Who could not love Jane Austen?

The first book I read as a teen was Jane Eyre. I have always been spellbound by the rich characters penned  by Charlotte Brontë (correction) and their observations of the class system in England, the basic nuances regarding love and trying to make sense of the world at that time.         

I still hold Jane Eyre with high regard however I also enjoyed the following books by Jane Austen and one should find time to read such fine fiction when the opportunity arises:

1.  Sense and Senseibilty

2.  Pride and Prejudice

3.  Mansfield Park

4.  Emma

Attraction Principle #51

I had blogged about this book before Why Men Love Bitches and if you are interested as to why Ms. Argov call women by this name read the former post.

Well, Attraction Principle #51 states that:

The Relationship may not be for you if you find yourself jumping through hoops.  When something is right, it will feel easier and much more effortless.

And she is right…when you are the one who is always making the sacrifices (which can include giving up your own hobbies, time with family and friends) and he is sitting back and enjoying the work then really…what kind of relationship is this?  Are you willing to give up your total identity to someone when the return on the investment is miniscule?  Life is short, and we have little precious time to waste as the author states.

Sure any relationship is tough…who says it is easy but there has to be balance.  And yes, I have seen men in the reverse situation where they give and give and their investment return is just as lacking.

For me, I think it’s all about balance with the partners.  Finding the medium ground where the two of you can work together.

And who wants to be attracted to a doormat?

Certainly not me.

The Age of Innocence

“The individual…is nearly always sacrificed to what is supposed to be the collective interest: people cling to any convention that keeps the family together—protects the children, if there are any’ he rambled on, pouring out all the stock phrases that rose to his lips in his intense desire to cover the ubly reality which her silence seemed to have laid bare”

The Education of Little Tree

Wonderful movie (also a novel)…at times moved me to tears…there is so much more to our world than simply sitting in a classroom.   The prejudice Little Tree faces as a child reminds me of my own cross which I bore frequently for being of mixed race.

Little Tree grows up with his grandparents after becoming an orphan during the time of Prohibition.   He faces dualities of the human spirit:  Prejudice from those who do not understand him (or want to) and from the good graces of his White grandfather who shows him a gentler view of the world.  Controversy has surrounded the original novel yet when I watched the movie my heart went out to the young protagonist: