Wanting out…

Have you ever found yourself in a rut? Or stuck in a situation where your mind tells you it’s time to pack your bags but your heart says otherwise?

I’ve read many accounts regarding the Ashley Madison leak and the women who decide to stay with their husband despite the infidelities.  Even in the bible it states t a person can divorce if infidelity is involved and God will not judge the victim.

I’ve  read stories how children are caught in the middle, elderly parents, personal assets…and the list goes on. So the spouse remains in the dysfunctional relationship.

Sad.

It’s imperative to take some “me” time and decide what is more important? Can you live with the decision you finally make??

Two clear issues come to mind:  Your happiness and providing your children (and yourself) a stable home environment.

Once a cheater always a cheater they say.

There are individuals out there, no matter how much you cry, beg, and plead in order to get them to change their ways, the stark reality is that they simply won’t.  It’s due to the easy access of online dating and casual sex sites, with our Iphones we can now cheat at a click of an app.

And with all that “candy” available it’s like a buffet for serial cheaters.  It’s due to their self-centered attitude, being very narcissistic and perhaps there is some personality/mental issues needing to be addressed. But why waste time trying to “fix” something that doesn’t want help? Waste of time and energy.

The old adage is true…the heart wants, what the heart wants.  But sometimes you have to let go of those “touchy-feely” feelings and figure out what exactly it is your seeking from this relationship.  If you love being an emotional punching bag, go for it…but don’t drag children or other individuals into the mess.

If you are financially independent, the answer is crystal clear…don’t stay.

If he says he will change, odds are he never will. I believe in second chances but only second chances, not thirds or fourths or fifths….

 

More than likely your partner is only remorseful because they were caught.

You have only this one life to live. Find a man or woman who treats you as their one and only and not sloppy seconds.

The Passage of Time

I don’t think any child is ever ready for their parent to grow older.

Mom is 76.  She and my sister made an overnight pit stop before heading to Memphis to visit Graceland.

Lately I’ve noticed that mom is repeating herself and also forgetting some of the more basic tasks.

It’s a hard pill to swallow.

Ever since my father passed away in 2011 I’ve created this barrier regarding my feelings toward my one remaining parent.  Hard to describe other than if I lose my mother now I could not handle it.

I know growing older is part of life. I get it. But why must our minds and bodies break down in the process? Why can’t we all ‘age gracefully?”

As a little girl I could never imagine life without mom. She was always there for her kids.  Didn’t matter if we raised hell or were complete angels. She continuously loved us despite or faults.

Though there were times when things became a little rocky I never doubted her love for us kids.

I am blessed.

Now as an adult I still find it quite difficult to comprehend mom is older, elderly.  Call it what you will.

All I know is that she’s my mother and when that day comes, when I can no longer hear her voice, hug her, see her…am not sure how the adult me will react.

So cherish your parents, make amends if needed.

Our time here is short, and oh so very precious.

A Writer’s Tools…

Besides having a creative imagination (and patience) I found the following books to be quite useful and who knew there was an Emotional Thesaurus out there?

From Writer’s Digest:

 

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2016 Writer’s Market Deluxe Edition

By Robert Lee Brewer

Format: Paperback

Breaking into the writing field is difficult when you don’t have an established network. At Writer’s Digest, we have been creating contacts with literary agents and publishers since 1920 to bring these contacts to you! Now is the time to use these tools and get published!

The 2016 Writer’s Market Deluxe Edition is everytthing you’d expect from the regular copy of Writer’s Market but with a bonus subscription to WritersMarket.com, which includes instant access to 7,500+ regularly updated listings for book publishers, magazines, contests, literary agents and more. Also, get access to an exclusive OnDemand webinar from Writer’s Digest to help freelance writers find more success!

This is our most jam packed and informative edition yet. This book contains thousands of publishing opportunities for writers of a variety of genres. Order this book for 3,500 complete, detailed listings on how to submit materials to book publishers, consumer and trade magazines, contests, awards and literary agents. Each listing is complete with contact and submission information including the types of materials being sought after!

In addition to listings, you’ll also find hundreds of pages with information on the business of writing. You’ll find advice on preparing for a pitch, how to fund your writing career, and how to gain a massive fan base. Navigate the rapidly changing social media landscape, negotiate contracts like a pro, and protect your work from copyright and more with the latest edition of Writer’s Market!

Free Webinar with Your Purchase (A $79.00 Value!):

In today’s publishing and media environments, writers can’t rely on just being “found” by readers and publishers; they have to make success happen. This webinar shows writers how to find work, foster an audience, and build a business as a freelancer.

From query letters to websites and social media to negotiating contracts, you will learn how to get started in freelancing and take your writing career to the next level.

This exclusive webinar shows you:

  • The importance of setting goals and creating a plan for success.
  • How to navigate the freelance landscape.
  • Where to find freelance opportunities.
  • How to pitch your services, whether to a magazine or a small business.
  • The value of a strong writer platform (and how to build it).
  • Why e-mail and mail lists are extremely important for freelance writers.
  • When freelancers should negotiate contracts (and how).
  • The importance of keeping accurate records–of everything.
  • And so much more!

You’ll love 2016 Writer’s Market Deluxe Edition if:

  • You are a writer who wants to publish their work.
  • You need more information about the business of writing.
  • You are ready to launch your writing career.
  • You want to use tools on the internet to make money writing.
  • You want the most up-to-date information on literary agents and publishers available.

(source:  click here)

From Amazon.com

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One of the biggest problem areas for writers is conveying a character’s emotions to the reader in a unique, compelling way. This book comes to the rescue by highlighting 75 emotions and listing the possible body language cues, thoughts, and visceral responses for each. Using its easy-to-navigate list format, readers can draw inspiration from character cues that range in intensity to match any emotional moment. The Emotion Thesaurus also tackles common emotion-related writing problems and provides methods to overcome them. This writing tool encourages writers to show, not tell emotion and is a creative brainstorming resource for any fiction project. (source click here)

Learning to take things one day at a time

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Everyone has their struggles, their cross to bear.  We think we are the only ones who face cruel adversity.

I sometimes fall into that “poor me” rut.  When my health is giving me issues or I feel I need to make more money to simply make ends meet I simply want to crawl into a hole or take a very very long vacation…then I witness an event, or someone whose faced far worse than myself and it wakes me up (for the time being).

yes, it’s ok to feel sorry for yourself…once in awhile.

Just don’t make it into a bad habit.

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There are times I don’t want to get out of bed, then I think–I have a job. I am lucky to have a steady paycheck…I do well, I keep a roof over my family’s head.  So I persevere, forcing these aching joints, bad back, and general malaise to “get a grip.”

I think about when the time comes for me to retire. What will I have to complain about then? Boredom? Hopefully not.

I watched the news yesterday and let me tell you I continue to be shocked by some of the most vile and disgusting things human beings do to one another.  I felt empathy for the loved ones regarding the murders and attempted murder of those involved in the Virginia-based WDBJ-TV shooting.  Senseless.  And simply watching a story like this puts my own life in perspective.

We can “always have it worse.”

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We only have this one life to live.

 

Would you rather spend it lamenting about the negative or try finding ways to make those obstacles into your strengths?

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