Change is in the air….

Besides the changing of nature’s pallet, there comes a time when even individuals like myself need to shed our “old skin” and done on a new persona.

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“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

 

WHY is change so difficult?

Could very well be lack of knowledge on the subject matter, lack of will power…or you’ve become accustomed to the status quo and the fear of change is simply too much to think about let alone act upon.

Avoiding change means avoiding pain and we are hard wired to steer clear of anything that might cause the least bit of discomfort.

However, if you look at your present situation, if you feel stress, anxiety, are depressed…isn’t change a good thing? Hmmmmm…….

Perhaps you need to take those baby steps….steps that don’t seem so daunting that when you look at the overall picture you aren’t overwhelmed either emotionally or physically. And…depending on the situation…maybe you simply need to jump right in–with both feet and…wait for it….embrace the unknown.

As we get older, what we do and how we do it defines us.  And when we find that our past and present behaviors are not “cutting it” any longer, there is real fear. Perhaps it’s fear of losing our unique identity, of really tackling something that really is outside of our comfort zone.  Whatever it is many of us Americans seem to be hesitant to review our lifestyle.

But sometimes we have to…for our health both mind and body, for our loved ones…for work. Whatever it is…sometimes sticking to the grind just isn’t conducive to a healthy way of living.

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The deer season widow

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In the Midwest, many American men, and now some women, will hear the call of the wild.  They pick up their bows and guns to hunt down the overpopulated deer.  Here in Missouri we have the White Tailed Deer.  A beautiful and statuesque creature.

Additional info taken from the Missouri Department of Conservation:

 

Life cycle: 

The peak of the mating (rutting) season is in November. Most young are born in late May or early June. A doe usually has twins; each weighs 4–7 pounds at birth. The young accompany the female until they are old enough to breed. About half of the young females in Missouri breed in the year of their birth. Other females and young males breed first at 1½ years of age. Deer are in the prime of life between 2½ and 7½ years of age. Deer can live for 15 years in the wild and 25 years in captivity.

Human connections: 

Deer were essential to Indians and early settlers, providing food, hides, sinews for bowstrings, bones for tools, and much more. Today deer still provide us considerable food, sport and pleasure, as hunting is a major industry in this country. The presence of deer is an asset to vacation sites.

Ecosystem connections: 

As deer nip off buds and branches, they encourage denser growth on the plants they forage on. When deer are overabundant, they can cause serious damage to food-plant populations. Although deer are today chased most commonly by free-running dogs, they also provide food for coyotes and bobcats.

 

One of the reasons we do hunt these animals is to control their growth.  Growing up in Indiana surrounded by corn and soy fields I would typically see them nibbling on the next harvest.  This causes of course damage and loss of income for the farmer.

Then there are the deers who brave the open road and sometimes, unfortunately cause serious accidents. Just the other day one of my coworkers hit a deer near my agency. When the female is in heat, or estrous and it’s rutting season, the deer become more active.  Imagine if this occurred within the human population. Oh my!  :D

While pursuing through Facebook one day, I found a group of women who call themselves the Hunting Widow. Many men will continue hunting through the season (up to January here) and wives will say goodbye to their partner for days or even months at a time (if they are able).

If you fall into this category please check out their page and join:

 

Hunting widow

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The sting of pride and temper

“I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

 

No one can say I don’t have my fill of both and it sometimes causes me to lash out if I feel slighted in the least. Don’t know if that’s the legendary Puerto Rican in me or my dad’s Irish side since (according to National Geographic) my heaviest DNA influences are Spanish and Irish. My one great flaw, is, as Ms. Austen puts it, bearing grudges….once my good opinion is lost, it’s lost forever. I see a lot of my mother in me when it comes to this.  However, as Ms. Austen states, I have many faults but let it not be a lack of understanding.  I couldn’t bear not having an open mind or unable to embrace compassion.

 

Being a mixture of two volatile ethnic backgrounds is a lethal combo.

 

 

Just ask my husband.

A positive attitude is a terrible thing to waste

Fighting to be me in a world where negativity resides is a difficult task to be sure.

I always try to see the glass half full.  At times, most difficult when it seems the world is against you for so many reasons.  I watch the news and hear about rioting, shootings, thievery, and murder. At work people bemoan their station, forgetting that in today’s economy, this job, any job is a godsend.

I see couples arguing over so many petty things that could simply be resolved with better communication.  The act of adultery is commonplace to the point partners no longer have a conscience.  Instead, these individuals feel it’s their right to explore their darker sides….forgetting the vows, their commitment to their better half……

I see children and teens disrespecting their parents and thumbing their noses at authority, feeling  they are on equal footing with those of us who have “already been there and done that.” Not wanting to listen to the wisdom of our years and experience….

I watch the news and hear about beheadings and bombings. I see men, women, and children, I see the elderly in these Middle Eastern countries, struggling to survive.  And we have people here at home complaining about the most insensible things.

It’s a wonder trying to stay afloat, to keep your head above water–to not drown from all the current events of our day, is a miraculous feat:

 

 

 

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Reconnecting

Writing isn’t always easy.  Either you feel it or you don’t. And when you’ve suffered from writer’s block (like I have, for years) you don’t.

Really…..what does it take to become inspired?

Well, for me it means really digging deep within myself, sorting out any negative feelings and trying to come up with a way to take those feelings and pen some sort of outlet.

I have read about authors whose brilliance were discovered from some type of catalyst.

When I was a teen it was easy to dig deep and find those feelings. Struck with the usual teenage angst, image issues, you name it….I poured my soul into many a blank page.

Why it’s much more difficult today….perhaps adult problems, a full time job, has cramped my writing style.  I used to be able to pour out each word without much effort….I either felt it or I didn’t but back then…I did.

I need to reconnect with the young aspiring dreamer-bridge the gap of what could have been to what will be.

“You must write every single day of your life… You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads… may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”
Ray Bradbury

Ode to Fall

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
Albert Camus

 

Fall is my favorite “bestest” season.  Spring comes in at a close second when nature renews herself and comes “out of the closet” from winter’s chilly embrace.

Love the changing of the leaves, Halloween right around the corner with goblins and witches, ghosts and ghouls.

Growing up in the country, the fields and little hills of Southern Indiana, I feel blessed that my childhood was a-washed in nature’s splendid colors.

 

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“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

I feel bad for those living in cities where sadly it seems (unless you have a well-kept park) the only sense of colorful style comes from clothing shops and television monitors.  Come out here to the Midwest or head upstate to Maine or down South to Tennessee..immerse yourself in all of God’s wondrous creation.

 

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“At no other time (than autumn) does the earth let itself be inhaled in one smell, the ripe earth; in a smell that is in no way inferior to the smell of the sea, bitter where it borders on taste, and more honeysweet where you feel it touching the first sounds. Containing depth within itself, darkness, something of the grave almost.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters on Cezanne

 

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Learning to let go

Perhaps because we are all fond of our memories and detest change, I’ve always tried to figure out why it is so hard to let go? Let go of old habits, past hurts, fading fond memories? Why is it so difficult to demolish these old bridges and move forward???

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Perhaps we hold on to illusions of what we think is “right.”  We can’t move forward if we are stuck in a misconception of reality.  And what causes us to distort our perceived perception of truth.

The older we get the more difficult it becomes to welcome change. I see it at work, I see it with my mom and definitely I saw this with dad.

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
C. JoyBell C.

What baffles the mind is why people hold on to things which create and cause only pain?

Being married means being part of a team

You are no longer responsible for yourself.  You are part of a unit which you agreed upon (taking a solemn oath or vow.)

Sadly, I think many Americans forgo these promises and continue working independently from the unit.

Am not saying you are your spouse’s keeper.

God no! :(

What I am saying is that each and every adult out there, who is in a serious and committed relationship, take personal responsibility over themselves, their actions.

With that being said, when those of us, like myself, who’ve been more single than attached, we can sometimes forget that there is another person in the equation. Their happiness, their self-worth becomes entangled with the every-day-to-day doldrums of simply existing.

Though my parents’ marriage was by no means perfect, they stuck together through it all. And, this is the template I go by.

Mom and dad took their vows quite literally, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.

That’s why I can’t seem to understand how people easily discard the sacred vows they went into freely…eyes wide open.

I’ve been part of team my entire adult life. The military taught me about self-sacrifice for the betterment of the whole. In marriage, we will make sacrifices for our spouses, as long as these acts are not taken for granted.

I see too many couples who settle into a comfortable and habitual day to day married life. The wants of the one outweigh the needs of the two.

When this happens communication is the key. Yes, I’ve beaten up this topic to death on this blog but wow….when it comes to such a sacred institution as marriage, when you love someone……when you truly love them….sacrifices will be made if not today…then tomorrow. And if you feel like your voice isn’t being heard, speak up…being married means being part of a team.

Don’t be that silent partner.