“Marriage is about compromise; it’s about doing something for the other person, even when you don’t want to.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding
One of the greatest fears a lot of us have is losing control over our lives, our feelings. We’re afraid that if we give in even one inch to someone else they’ll greedily devour a mile. Perhaps that’s why a lot of us Americans are so apprehensive about getting married. We are individualists with our own set of dreams, goals…
The way I was raised though had a lot to do on how I view marriage. I did see “some” compromise with my parents growing up in a traditional household. The roles were “set” as one might typically think of an old-school marriage. Mom was a stay at home wife, dad worked 12 sometimes 16 hour days. He had the garage and yard while mom had the house. Though mom would help dad outside weather permitting….
The military taught me, quite well, I might add, on the art of compromise. Working within a team environment with various personalities you quickly learn the group dynamics. You’re tested on a multitude of levels…on areas you didn’t even know could be tested.
And marriage, well marriage is a team effort. And you bring into this union all of your angst, your strengths, those hopes and dreams. You pray that your spouse will share along with your ventures, becoming in essence, a true partner.
However, sometimes that’s not always the case. An individual may have a stronger personality than the other and try to either force or somehow coerce you into their way of thinking even if you don’t necessarily agree with it. That’s when compromise becomes a 4 letter word. It’s not really a meeting of like minds.
If you feel you’re not being heard, that your own personal goals are being swept to the side have a talk. Resolve it, the longer you wait more resentment will build.
Marriage is a partnership for a reason. It’s not necessarily the union of two liked minds because we are all individuals. It’s learning to respectfully coexist within a meaningful relationship which should last a lifetime.