The Marriage Dance

“SELFLESS LOVE
If you have a special person in your life, but you find yourselves arguing, irritated and/or fighting out of the blue… you both need to try to step back and be selfless and think of the other person… with no ego of your own. No ego. We are ALL dealing with our own tough issues. We may keep them to ourselves, but we all have struggles. If you BOTH allow yourselves to step into each others shoes- to have the awareness and respect for each others issues and struggles… that will most likely allow the love that you have for each other to shine through at its brightest.

There will be ups and downs- feelings of being under-appreciated for both. It will happen. But let that be the worst that happens. Unity through diversity. That’s the greatest love. A selfless love. It’s paradoxical, but you each would get back more than you give out. That’s the love that conquers all things that’s mentioned in the Bible. It will be challenging for both of you, but well worth it.”
― José N. Harris

 

I think most of us take our partners for granted. Perhaps not on any given day, maybe…perhaps….moments which sneak in here and there, and we forget the purpose of marriage–2 hearts uniting for a common goal–bringing about serenity within a relationship meaning to last a lifetime.

We dance around each others feelings….hoping against hope you don’t trip up and say something you’ll regret later.

Or you forget for a just a moment that you are married, and wished you were single again….straining against the “confines” of this union.  Wondering what else may be around the corner.

Or…you take for granted your spouse will always be there to pick you up when you fall….least forgetting that before you met them you knew how to dust off your knees and keep moving forward.

We learn instead complacency and expect certain things whether it be acceptance of whatever interest currently hits your fancy to expecting certain things from them.

We dance…..we dance around feelings that have been trodden on for so long you end up dancing alone.

 

Just remember

But let that be the worst that happens. Unity through diversity. That’s the greatest love.

‘Til the end of time…

Young-and-Old-Love-Quote

We all journey through this life seeking approval from others. (Don’t fool yourself if you think you do not).

And one of the most earnest approvals we crave is from our loved ones…family, friends, our “greatest love.”

As babes we eagerly seek out acceptance from our parents as we tentatively venture out with new experiences. Their love, their security, is what emboldens us to continue exploring our world.

Then we experience first kiss, first love….and first rejection.  How it hurts. Stabs you deep in the soul.

Then we pick up the pieces and continue forward.  Wounds are made, with time healing.

And the cycle forever repeats itself until we find “the one.”

The one who will make you laugh, cry with joy and embrace with the warmth of security.

I married late in life, no regrets.

Puppy love died a long long time ago replaced with one that is secure, confident and ready to venture forth–continuing to explore my world as I face my future hand in hand with the man who I call, my greatest love…

GROW OLD ALONG WITH ME….THE BEST IS YET TO BE….

“How body from spirit slowly does unwind, until we are pure spirit at the end.”
Theodore Roethke

Why must we fear the unknown? The unknown in this instance is the fragility of our Golden Years.

All through our youth oh! How we yearn to be free from the shackles of our childhood…the rules of our parents.

We wish away our days until they become a blur….distant memories of time not forgotten.

Why must growing older hurt? Cause such heartbreak and anxiety?

As we see our parents enter into their sunset, the fatigue sets into their eyes…the ailments consuming their bodies…yes I do fear.

I too wonder if I will succumb to such maladies–becoming a mere shadow of my once vibrant self.

When you think about past familial generations….their actions brought together our collective futures.

It creates such awe within myself.

And who exactly would I love to have by my side as I face my uncertain years of youth forgotten?

Well, I must say…that would be the love of my life.

My husband. My best friend.

 

Robert Browning

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!”
― Robert Browning

Taking ownership

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Nothing quite aggravates me more than lazy people, (comes a close second to liars).

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It frustrates me when you have individuals who CAN do the work…who CAN think for themselves and whether it be out of sheer laziness or a laissez faire attitude, you end up having to pick up the pieces.

Could be a friend who thinks they have free reign in asking all the favors in the world (but God forbid you request one back)….a coworker who’s worked here umpteen amount of years and yet STILL seems to struggle through their job.  How in the hell did you make it this far without being fired????

Don’t they realize the burden that’s placed upon you? Yeah, you can ask them until your face is blue to become uhmmm hmmm…self-reliant…keep the chin up sort of thing but no! You are their walking encyclopedia, therapist, doctor…you name it, you wear the hat.

Makes me wonder HOW in the hell they made it this far in life?????

 

“If people lived to be a thousand years old, there’d be extreme inequality, based not on class like now, but on genetics. Think how far behind unmotivated and lazy people lag now after only 65 years on earth, and then multiply that by 15.
”
Jarod Kintz,

WHAT does it take to be a great leader?

“No matter how good you think you are as a leader, my goodness, the people around you will have all kinds of ideas for how you can get better. So for me, the most fundamental thing about leadership is to have the humility to continue to get feedback and to try to get better – because your job is to try to help everybody else get better.”

― Jim Yong Kim

First, practice a bit of humility thrown in some charisma and then add a little bit of humor.

 

 

Being a good leader means acknowledging when you’ve made a mistake, taking ownership of it and learning from the feedback you received from your fellow peers.

 

bossvsleader

 

A loyal partner for life

Am still reading up on my new pup.  The following link provides additional info for those interested in learning more about Cavapoos.  One resounding theme from everything I’ve read is that Asa will grow up to be a gentle and sweet little guy.  This of course, depends on how I raise him.  Using a heavy hand on a “sensitive” dog will surely backfire.  They are also intelligent so patience is the key, praise, and repetition.

Cavapoos are renowned for being extremely affectionate dogs, they are friendly and loyal. Their good natures has meant they have become one of the most popular family pets getting along with children of all ages as well as other pets and dogs. Puppies that have been well socialised when they are very young, turn out to be fantastic, well balanced dogs to have around the home. They love to be involved in everything the family is doing and stress out if they are left on their own for too long – which could lead to some unwanted behaviour – namely barking. Because they are quite energetic little dogs, they need regular daily exercise and they need to be stimulated mentally too. Playing with safe toys is a great way to get a Cavapoo to get rid of any energy and because they love being around people, they respond really well to games like fetch.

 

A dog should never fear their fur parent.  Instead, with diligence and perseverance you’ll have a loyal partner for life if you are willing to invest time, effort, and tons of love into developing this dog to its full potential.

 

ASA

ASA

A work in progress

As previously mentioned in another post about the Cavapoo and puppy training, at times it can be difficult getting these little fellas to obey your commands.

Common sense, and from the materials I’ve read….One thing not to do, is that we do not use the same discipline or corrective methods on one breed as we would typical do with another i.e. if you have a more “aggressive” dog or even larger breed.

I know some owners will jerk the dog’s leash when trying to discipline and for pups that is simply a big no no. Their necks are smaller and you can always run the risk of injury or even snapping the bones.

Also, Cavapoos are well-known for being gentle creatures who are eager to please….this also means that they are far more sensitive to harsher commands or discipline. If we as their fur parents take to manually disciplining a dog you can end up with one who is fearful or even becomes a biter. The best bet is to 1.) Use a firm voice…screaming doesn’t cut it and 2.) Distract them with a toy, treat or take them to another place in order to redirect their energy.

I still have a lot of learning to do. I really want Asa to do well in his puppy training. I may eventually take him to PetSmart for their puppy training classes along with getting him socialized.

Commands he may do at home may not work in another environment and it’s important to socialize your pet so he or she doesn’t end up a fearful creature.

 

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My hope is to have a long lasting and mutually satisfying relationship with this little furry guy for many years to come.

Finding balance

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.”
    -James Thurber

When you’re watching your fur baby like a hawk to ensure they don’t potty inside it can become tiresome but….I already knew what I was in for.

I feel Asa will bring untold amounts of joy along with the frustrations of handling a new puppy. He loves to cuddle, follows me like a second shadow…never sasses me (well…maybe sometimes)….but I’ll take it.

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From all the materials I’ve read about potty training setbacks, not being a diligent fur parent can create obstacles to a successful housebreaking experience. Once a pup has experienced 4 weeks without much incident (there will be accidents but not frequent) then consider the dog house broken.

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Sometimes Asa will give me verbal cues and look towards the door. He really needs grass, he prefers it. Living in a townhome has its perks…but when it comes to dogs…best to have a yard.  And how can I ever be mad at that little face? He is my little heart.

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring–it was peace.”
Milan Kundera

Round 2 as a parent of a furry baby

I wanted another dog. Losing Wendy was difficult. The manner in which she passed angers me to this day. I won’t get over it simply because I feel there are many unsuspecting dog owners out there who may one day face the heartbreak that I went through. When at your vet, always ask questions. DO NOT be afraid to challenge them regarding their line of thinking and take the time to do as much research as possible when it comes to your breed and dogs in general.

REMEMBER: You chose this animal to live with you.

With that being said, potty training is demanding.  When I potty trained my daughter it was a breeze. Puppies, of course, don’t wear diapers so you have to be constantly vigilant on how you approach said subject matter, and do it with a positive attitude.

My short-term goal is to have my Cavapoo, Asa, trained to such a degree he will be able to use a “potty bell.” For those of you who don’t know what this is, please click here:          (it can be a god-send)…..now if only dogs could talk!

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